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We rarely talk about the relentless pressure goal-setting brings—or how it can wreak havoc on your emotions and mental health when you fall short.

So, for this month’s blog post, I want to explore New Year’s resolutions and how to make goal-setting pressureless.

That decision gave me the space to reimagine the holidays on my own terms. I’ve since started my own traditions and found joy in celebrating the season in ways that feel authentic and nourishing to me.

If the holidays feel more stressful than magical for you, I hope this post encourages you to lean into the untraditional and reclaim this time of year in a way that works for you. Here are a few things I’ve done to fall in love with the holidays again:

As a Black queer woman in the United States, I am proud to say I have chosen to take a huge step back. I’m not fighting for this country because this country doesn’t care to be saved. In fact, most of this country doesn’t even believe it’s in danger.

In honor of Asexual Awareness Week, I want to take a moment to share my journey of realizing I’m asexual—a journey that took over two decades to fully understand. It has been treacherous at times, even funny in moments, but above all, it’s a journey I can now reflect on with gratitude.

My life at 30 looks nothing like I imagined, and that’s because it’s been shaped by deep unlearning, relentless questioning, and a series of unapologetic 'fuck yous' to anything that stood between me and my own happiness. It’s also been defined by the kind of vulnerability and transparency I didn’t know I was capable of, by finding my voice, and by embracing love in every form it came to me.

Here’s 3 lessons I’ve learned along the way.